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Four Little Feet

Slight musings and mad ravings of a new mom of twins
Mar 16

Fear and I got really well acquainted today.

got some news today that was sort of a downer: i didn’t get a job i was really hoping to land. this job would have enabled me to get where i want to be in the next 3.5 years and would have given me flexibility in my schedule and a chance to actually feel like i’m growing in my career instead of withering away behind a desk.

this on top of a horrifying weekend of arguments with that dude i married where i got to see all of my flaws trotted out to me….but only after they’d been costumed and put on stilts.

and then i had to deal with a nagging fear that i may lose my housing and have to put myself at the mercy of housing providers and possibly face even MORE rejection. i am afraid that i won’t be able to provide safe decent housing for the twins.

these are precisely the moments when i feel less able to provide and more likely to disappoint; when i feel i don’t really have the ability to stave off disaster and there are way too many eyes on me waiting to see me fall. this is all to say: i am not in a good place right now.

but on a positive note: found a recipe for a delicious looking shredded beef taco salad. totally trying it out this weekend!!!

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Feb 13

What goes up, usually comes down face first.

Excited news from the daycare Wednesday: Dixie learned how to climb up into a chair and sit like a big girl!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

And then she almost promplty fell off the chair onto the carpet below, because she is still a baby.

Awwwwwwwwwwww!

If toddlerhood has this many ups and down, what do the teenage years hold in store?

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Dec 31

Things I’ve learned in 2008

As the year draws to a close, there are all kinds of Best Of lists to remind us of all the great things about the past year. I’d like to take a second to record some of the important lessons I’ve learned in the year 2008, not listed in order of least or most important.

1) The things that you choose to devote your emotional energy to better be worth it. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time better spend on the great things in life.

2) There are plenty of different types of wonderful bottles made by the Baby Industry to help you keep your kid alive. You don’t have to buy them all. Step AWAY from the bottle aisle!

3) Get rid of the things you don’t need. While it may be nice to keep one or two onesies in newborn size, you don’t need to keep 20. And why do you have 5 pairs of size 1 shoes? Seriously, give them to someone who needs them.

4) In times of crisis, try to remind yourself that you’ve been here before and survived. And if surviving means asking for help, then do it; it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you smart.

5) LUVS are the greatest diaper known to man. I learned this lesson in November. After already spending an insane amount of money on Pampers throughout the year.

6) Target brand formula is the greatest formula known to man. I learned THIS lesson in August. After spending an blood-curdling amount of money on Similac throughout the year.

7) Panicking when your kids gets sick without a fever is ridiculous. Babies get colds. It’s not consumption.

8) Your friends who don’t have kids may NOT really want to hear about your kids’ abundance or lack of poop. So what! Tell them anyway, it’ll make a good inside joke.

9) Not everyone will try to be understanding when you have kids. Your supervisor doesn’t have to care, people walking in and out of doors ahead of you in public don’t have to care, and neither do the people driving too closely behind you in traffic. Don’t take it personally.

10) They are ALL right: if you do not nap when baby naps, you will regret it.

11) Plain Cheerios actually aren’t that bad.

12) No matter how much or little you buy at the grocery store, your baby food bill is always going to total about $20.00. I don’t know how the Gerber Gods do it, it just happens.

13) When people ask if your kid is “mixed” and with what, take it in stride. You know what they mean even if they aren’t very artful about how they ask it. But sometimes, just for fun, tell them “yes, with cashew and macadamia.”

14) Most of the well known slogans and symbols of the 20th Century were stolen without credit from the art of motherhood:

“The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love,”

“We Do More Before 9 am than Most People Do All Day,”

“Do you feel lucky? Well, punk…Do Ya? “

15) Be honest. If you can be strong enough to tell the truth, not only to others but to yourself, you’ll find that you will sleep really well at night.

It’s been a wild ride over these past 12 months. There have been times when I’ve laughed so hard, my eyes watered. And times when I was leaking tears for other, less fun reasons. I can’t wait to see where the next year takes Trixie, Dixie, and me. Should be interesting…

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Oct 19

Math for Social Science Majors

I got a prize voucher PRIZE VOUCHER in the mail a few days ago. Turns out if I present myself to a local car dealership (no puchase, test drive, or sales presentation required!) I am guaranteed to receive at least two of the following prizes:

- 3 day/2 Night Resort Getaway (retail value $500)

- Complimentary Airfare

- 40” Plasma TV

- Florida/Caribbean Cruise

- $10,000 Cash

At least 2 of those five? Sweet! Maybe i can roll around in the money while watching the tv before leaving for my cruise?

Anyway, i decided to read the fine print and find out the real deal on my guaranteed prize pack. They were so kind as to print the odds of winning for each prize:

-3 day/ 2 Night Resort Getaway (1:1)

- Complimentary Airfare (1:1)

- 40” Plasma TV (1:130,616)

- Florida/Caribbean Cruise (1:1)

- $10,000 Case (1:130,616)

…..so I gotta a really good shot at getting the money, right?

Am i right?

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Sep 20

runny noses and crabby babies...

  • Luckypenny: do you wanna stand in your exersaucer?
  • Trixie: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
  • translation: no, mother, i'd really rather not.
  • Luckypenny: want to play in the play yard?
  • Dixie: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  • translation: of all the things i can think of that i'd like to do, that, sadly, falls nowhere on the list.
  • Luckypenny: want to sit in your bouncey chair?
  • Trixie: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
  • translation: whilst that would normally sound like a smashing idea, today...at this moment....'tis not.
  • Luckypenny: okay, then everybody go to bed!
  • Trixie and Dixie: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
  • translation: you may be bigger than us, Nemesis, but you cannot defeat us both simultaneously!!!
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Sep 19

One…Two….Three…….Across the room.

Daycare called. Trixie walked all the way across the room without falling. Depression follows. Tequila shots on my couch: 10:00 pm.

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Sep 14

The Truth is In the Memory Card

I happened to be looking through the photos on my memory card earlier today and i was struck my something:

Trixie really DID look like a boy!

i mean, in some of the pics from just a few months ago, she looked like she had a freakin FADE!

all that time i wasted getting mad at people asking if she’s a boy when i could have used it more wisely: BUYING HAIR BOWS!

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Sep 09

Not that I’m jealous or anything…

Trixie and her dad have a pretty special relationship. The morning she and Dixie were born, Dixie was taken to the nursery while Trixie stayed in the room with us. He and she sat in the chair together and had an up close, very personal, top secret conversation while i was splayed out on the bed getting stitches on my back.

(shudder)

The special place he holds in her heart was made evident yesterday when, after playing with her for a moment, he put her down to go get something out of my car.

As soon as he walked out the door, Trixie started crying!

And just as I was saying to myself “oh no she di’int!” he walked back in because he heard her crying. Long story short, she stopped crying, they got back down to the business of hugs and kisses, and Dixie and i rolled our eyes.

Seriously, it’s not enough that after months of growing ever more gigantic and pushing them out of my body, that they look more like him than me? Now Trixie is actually going to cry when he leaves the room when I barely register of “later, chocolate face” when i drop them off at daycare???

It’s cold in the city, yo.

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Sep 08

You may think she’s 5 times as qualified…

But that’s because your math is wrong.

So the word on the street lately is that due to the fact that I pushed a couple of people out of my body AND managed thus far to keep them alive, I am very, very well qualified for the “second most important job in the country.” I think i have Palin beat; she was so lazy she had to have 5 kids at 5 different times. I, on the other hand, had TWO kids during ONE pregnancy. Now THAT’s efficiency we can believe in!!

I love how Republicans are playing this shell game with people where they assert that soccer mom, wolf hunter, and all around partygal Sarah Palin is qualified for VP because, dammit, she’s a MOTHER. And when you disagree with that point, then you are not only unAmerican, you are against American Moms everywhere in America…but mostly in small towns!

I am only slightly more irritated by that than I am with the people who scoff at the notion that being a mom really is very important. It’s hilarious to some that Palin is using her role as a mother to claim to be qualified because we all know that women don’t get extra points for having kids! I mean, shit: even ANIMALS do it, it’s not like it’s rocket science.

And so i find myself treading this fine line between wanting to agree that yes, being a mom is not all you need to be in order to be qualified to be Vice President; but also wanting to assert that being a mom IS a very important job! But it’s funny that we even need to feel like we’ve got to make that defense. I mean, couldn’t it reasonably be argued that I am not going to be able to show up at an airport expecting to pilot a plane solely on the credentials of having twins? Can’t we all agree that making that argument is in no way sexist: it’s common sense?

Well, we clearly cannot all agree on that point. In a world where up is sideways and down is hexagonal, we have to hear protective cries of sexism in defense of woman who calls herself a pitbull in lipstick and then hides from the press like a skittish field-mouse. The same lady who uses one son’s enlistment in the military and another son’s disability as a testament to her values and strength as a parent doesn’t want her hypocrisy highlighted by discussion of her unmarried pregnant teenage daughter.

Well, I’m not drinking the Koolaid. She’s not prepared and is not a serious candidate. But not because she’s a mom!

She’s not qualified because she’s an idiot.

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Sep 05
“So, how’s everything going, Newlywed??”
“oh, you know….as expected.”
(via scout)

“So, how’s everything going, Newlywed??”

“oh, you know….as expected.”

(via scout)

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